Too soon?

Bad Words

Sometimes when I don't know what a word means, I ask God if it's a bad word. If he doesn't say anything, that means it's ok to say it.

-Maya

Gutter Brain

(I was grabbing a cup of hot tea at a Crazy Mocha, a cafe)
Cashier: *sees my shirt* ...Do you know why Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth?
JD: Oh GOD NO! Don't ruin her for me!
Cashier:... O.o ...you must have a very dirty mind. Anyway, she doesn't have a mouth because she speaks from the heart.

The Arranged Marriage of Sire Frecklesworth

(I LOVE freckles and my bf has a ton, so I made a proposal.)

J.D.: Sire Frecklesworth, of Frecklewood Dr, Freckletown, FL ..... United Freckles of Face

Fry: Loser!

J.D.:Sire Frecklesworth!!!

Fry: LAME!

J.D.:Actually, I am the caramel maiden of the Frecklenaughts. And because of my lack of freckles I propose a union!

Fry: I refuse to take part in this.

J.D.: That's ok, I have chloroform.

Fry: ...

What Mommies are for:

Maya: Why did you call Pop pop?
Me: Because mommy told me to
Maya: Why ?
Me: I don't know, I just listen to Mommy
Maya: That's what Mommy is for. Listening to.

I have another blog

just incase you can't get enough of me.

http://purpleone.tumblr.com/

It's just water

My little sister sneezed into her hand.
I looked at her.
She told me:
"It's ok Jadey, it's just water. Sometimes water is in my nose"

Knock-knock joke

My sister is 5, she LOVES knock knock jokes, but some go over her head.

Knock knock

who's there?

Woo

Woo, who?

Don't get so excited, it's only a joke.

3 AM

L.E.'s friend:

"Dear 3am,

We have to stop meeting like this. I'd rather sleep with you.

All My Love,

(Name)"

Lol at Fry

*mysterious light brown crunchie on floor*

Fry: What's that?

J.D.: ...Cat food...

Fry: WTF? Why are you eating cat food?!

J.D.: I watched District 9 and it looked so good...

Fry: JADE!

J.D.: Haha it's just a Lucky Charm, baby. Marshmallows and cat food. Hee!

Pillow Talk

J.D. and L.E. laying in bed

L.E.: Jadey, You have the gift of making anything sound dirty.

(same room separate beds lol)

Quote of the Day

Me: If you can't be an assassin or an evil dictator, become a dentist.

Ghost like Swayze

Fry: You know that movie Ghost? I find Whoopie Goldberg strangely attractive in it.

JD: Ewww. I'm putting that on my blog. "MMMM Whoopie is HOT. I'd TOTALLY smash!"

Fry: You better not.

Baby Making Music

JD: Alot of people complained that my playlist was too typical and old school.

Fry:They're probably thinking: I can't make a baby to the same music my parents used to make me.

Don't cry over contained milk

JD: Aw. I cried over my bowl of cereal, now there are tears in it..... that's gross.

Caption for a Random Photo

Cool Chick with Fro: I'm pretending I don't see this man stare at me. I know he wants to touch my hair. I don't blame him, 'cause I look GOOD. He's kinda cute.

Tweaking White Dude: She so g-- damn sweet. Sweet as she wanna be. Ooo-- I just like-- Oooo, i wanna lay in her hair!

Convo with my 'son'

My 'son' is nearly 20 and has brown skin, crazy eyebrows, and short, straight black hair.

JD: So why am I your 'mother' again?

A: We were being ridiculous on friday after the movie trip.

JD: So it has nothing to do with the one-night-stand I had with Spock nearly 21 years ago?

A: Nope.

JD: oh ok cool.

My encounter with Nikki

"I can't tell u what she did 2 me
But my body will never be the same
Her lovin' will kick your behind
Oh, she'll show u no mercy
But she'll sho'nuff, sho'nuff show u how 2 grind"

Yoga

*JD complaining about the amount of yoga blogs*

JD: I mean each one just says "I tried a new position today" And you know, that could be good, but no. It's just yoga.

LE: Oh JD...

Lol at LE: part deux

JD: Why doesn't Five Guys deliver?!

LE: Because it's a gay bar.

JD: wtf!

Lol at LE

LE: So apparently it's illegal to own a hedgehog in the state of PA. I mean WTF! I totally need a hedgehog!

JD: O.o

LE: ...this is going on the blog, isn't it?

Mmmmmm

"She looks good. Like warm honey on a biscuit"- Me

The Chronicles of JD and LE: part deux

JD: LE! Is something wrong with my voice?
LE: Um... it's a little raspy
JD: Nooooo! How am I gonna seduce people with a voice like this?
LE: ....Did you really just say that, JD?

Short Poem in the works

Small button nose with a ring through her septum

Broken string of hearts on the ground where she left 'em

Darkness reflects pain in her dilated pupils

Soul floats away like filth down the Schuykill

Quote of the Day

"I wanna grow out my fro until I can hide a kitten in it."

~Me

The Chronicles of JD and LE (pt. 1)

The Chronicles of JD and LE (pt. 1):
JD: "LE. Smell this." (holds up cup containing unknown substance)
LE: "...Why?"
JD: "Smell it!"
LE: "...It smells like peppermint. What is it?"
JD: "Um...Olive oil?"
LE: "Wait. What? Why?"
JD: "I gotta experiment."
LE: O.o

SeaHorse-Mehorse

I have a little sister, her name is MJ. She's 5 years old.

When talking to my boyfriend on the phone, I referred to him as Boogy-woogy. And several minutes later as Pickle-wickle.

My sister (who adores him) wanted to make her own pet name for my boyfriend. I asked her what name did she think of.

SeaHorse-MeHorse!